YOUR GIFT TO GOD

"What you will become is your gift to God." 

The blogger, Denden and Pipo--three generations.

Merry Christmas, Lai, Cristina, Melba and the rest of you, guys, in Sulop, Davao del Sur and elsewhere in Davao.

KADA MANANG PACING, JSPH, Kdpy*

Sentosa on a gray day, from Vivo City, Singapore

Some of these books and magazines have been donated to village libraries in Ilocos Norte

My jogging route to Benton and back in Winchester

Kas iti dalluyon nga agapon iti malem
Agsublitayo latta iti taripnong iti kalgaw
Nga ubing manen ti kigaw a sirmata iti aringgawis
Ta kasano a pumusay ti saan pay a naipasngay
Iti awan patinggana a panagsapul iti dayag?
Nalmes ti dungsa iti kape ti linnagip iti baet
Ti saan nga aggibus a dung-aw ti baybay
Iti pannakapespes dagiti darikmat iti isusuknal
Iti bukodtayo a siudad ti Jerusalem.
Ngem iti daytoy a kaltaang ti rabii
Apay ngata a nalipatanda, ay, nalipatanda
Daydi immuna a balla a nangtiliw iti kararua
Ti daniw-samiweng ti timpuyog a pinutarna?
Apay a nagsayukmo ni Manang Ising?

Kas kadakayo ken nalabit ken ni Manang Pacing
Ammok laeng daydi  apuy a simgiab idiay Sison
A nangsilmot met kadakami kadaydi Lina ni Gene
Da Binot, Lito, Virginia, Jimmy idiay Laoag
Ammok laeng ti areng-eng ti rinibu a kutibeng
A nangngegko kadaydi Manong Pel, Manong Viring--
Isuda amin a limmaksiden a saan a nagpakada.

Apay ngamin, aya,  daytoy patinayon a suknal?
Awan imeng ti kapanagan ket nadagaang
Ti parbangon a saepsaepan dagiti babassit a nagpayak.

Kas iti estatua ti santo a binigat nga agpadaan
Awan paksuy dagiti mata uray kuridemdemen.
Adu dagiti saludsod a tawataw ti sungbatna.
Iti lugan nga agawid, awan ti arimekmek
A kasla ket sangsangalen pay ti sarita ti adu
A bariw-as, panagbirok iti imnas ken kanta

A mabalin nga isaang iti karaang ti tabbaaw, am-amangaw
 No di man panagdayaw kadagiti sumaruno a panagkikita. 

ANDRES MIGUEL PASION
Menifee, CA


*Manipud iti PASIKING a libro ni Lito de Francia

FROM THE MANGYAN MAIDEN

TO THE BLOGGER:
(on his birthday)

Today I will whisper your name
in beatitudes
like Tagore's Gitanjali
for a vast ocean of being
held secretly yet wantonly
     in the heart
     of a poetess-friend
enthralled in the divinity

     of thy spell.

THE WRITER'S 5TH COMMANDMENT

With Christian Paul Julian in Singapore

Add caption

"Thou shalt not be modest."

Modesty is an excuse for sloppiness, laziness, self-indulgence; small ambitions evoke small efforts. I never knew a good writer who wasn't trying to be a great one.--Stephen Vizinczey, a Hungarian writer 

Some stray thoughts in Winchester, CA : This is what life should be: no hate, no recriminations, the ability to bounce back from a great loss, caring for one who needs it, to go on no matter what and squeeze every waking moments for the joy and pleasure for oneself and and others.

THE INVITATION BY ORIAH

It does not interest me                                                          
what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart's longing.
It does not interest me
how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It does not interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon.
I want to know
if you have touched
the center of your sorrow
if you have been opened
by life's betrayals
or have been shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain
I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fake it
or fix it.

Digital shot along blogger's jogging route in Serangoon, Singapore. The island- state, the 6th wealthiest nation in the world, is a clean, peaceful and orderly place. One can jog even at midnight and the wee hours and no one will molest you, no dog will bark at you, no policeman will rob you.

I want to know                                                       it does not interest me                                             
if you can be with joy
mine or your own                                                  if the story you are telling  me
                                                                               is true.
if you can dance with wildness                              I want to know if you can disappoint
and let the ecstacy fill you                                      another to be true to yourself
to the tip of your fingers
 or toes                                                                    if you can bear the accusation of betrayal
without cautioning us                                              and not betray your soul
to be careful                                                             if you can be faithless
to be realistic                                                           and therefore trustworthy.
to remember the limitations                                    I want to know if you can see Beauty
of being human.                                                      even when it is not pretty everyday.
                                                                                and if you can source your own life
                                                                                from its presence.
                                                    I want to know if you can live with failure
                                                    yours or mine and still stand
                                                    at the edge of the lake
                                                    and shout to  the silver of the moon,
                                                    '' Yes."
                                                    It does not interest me where you live
                                                    or how much money you have.
                                                    I want to know if you can get up
                                                    after the night of grief and despair 
                                                    weary and bruised to the bone

                                                    
and to do what needs to be done

to feed the children.
It does not interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It does not interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else fade away.
I want to know if you can be
alone with yourself
and if you like the company
you keep in the empty moments.

by Oriah @mountain dreaming

Winning is a Sickness?

"When human being gamble
the spirits like to watch.
From the spirit world they laugh
At the winners because winning is a sickness.

They say only losers feel grief
Only the loser can go home with nothing
and this is a very holy thing
to do.'--Jim Cohn, The Grasslands

"a man's house is his castle.
it may be frail; it's roof may shake; the wind may enter;
the rain may enter. but the King of England may not enter.
all the forces of the Crown dare not cross the threshold of
the ruined tenement."--adapted

This is the quotation of the position paper submitted by my son to the Philippine National Police Regional Internal Affairs Service 1 in San Fernando City, La Union, Philippines re case against four Laoag City City cops for grave misconduct. The case arose when the policemen in civilian clothes barged into his home in search of an alleged drug pusher, whose house is somewhere else. Only his children were inside the house when the lawmen came with drawn guns and kicking doors in their so-called buy-bust operation.

LAI, There was a miscommunication re package

LAI, I TALKED TO THE MANAGER OF LBC SAN Mateo yesterday. He said they returned the package to Manila because it was not picked up within 15 days. I TOLD HIM you tried to pick it up at LBC Digos but they would no release it to you because of the "incorrect" name Lai.

SUDDENLY, IT IS EVENING

All Rights Reserved

i think of you, my dearest, as a promise of beauty untouched by the loveliness of the world--read from a magazine of memory

the room is wide
this morning

as wide as your pain
somewhere in a corner
of remembered remembering
where were you when the sea
was bereft of broken beer bottles
and crumpled tin cans?

last night the rainbowed jukebox
blared your song
while the smoke-filled bar
echoed with drunken laughter
and your epilogue
of wasted years
it should have been this way--
no, no, no, it could have been that way.

the sun lingering on the glass
panes has now climbed
the rooftops: remembering
is a perfect blade
as sharp as the edge of morning
time for you is a dry leaf
on a hot windless day
yet ricebirds must cry
as the pulse of life beats
in the shuffle of many feet
in the stage where the drama
was played
you remember the innocence
of youth in the old hometown
and suddenly, it is evening.  

PETER LA. JULIAN
Oscariz, Ramon, Isabela

MAYSA A RABII IDIAY SANTA MARCELA/FIKSION NI PETER LA. JULIAN

Winning short story originally published in Bannawag, the Ilokano weekly.

Slightly edited

ABABA A SARITA NI PETER LA. JULIAN

Keepsake of the blogger on vacation with wife in Singapore, 
where he met Rico Hizon, the Filipino broadcaster based in the island-state.

Dekada ti 1970

NANGABESERA da Mrs. Cruz ken Malou.

     Nagtugaw ni Rene Rafael iti makanigid  ti kabsatna. Saan a nakilanglang ti babai a katulongan a nangpastrek itay iti balasang a nabayag a nagpukaw iti ilida a Santa Marcela.  Saan a simrek ni Malou iti ruangan ti sango ti balay, no di ket iti kosina. Gistay naggiddanda a simmangpet iti lalaki a kabsatna a maysa a kapitan dagiti soldado a naidestino idiay Tupang.

     Adu ti nagsaritaanda.  Maipapan kadagiti tawen iti Santa Marcela idi awanen ni Malou kalpasan a napan nagadal iti unibersidad ti estado idiay Diliman. Dagiti propesional. Dagiti pimmanaw ken dagiti agpanggep a pumanaw. Dagiti nagsubli sa met la pimmanaw.

     Saanen a kas idi, nakuna ni Mrs. Cruz iti bagina. Awanen dagidi katkatawa ken innangaw. Nawaya idi ken nasalibukag ti sritaan. Ita, kasla ganggannaeten daytoy nga anak ket masapul nga annadanda ti sawenda.

     Isu a dina intulok nga agturong ti panagpapatangda iti gobierno ken politika.

     Kalpasan ti pannanganda, kinalikaguman ti rebelda a makita ti siled a pinanawanna.

     Immulida iti maikadua a kadsaaran. Ibagbaga ni Mrs. Cruz nga awan nagbaliwan ti kuarto ni Malou. Awan nayalis wenno nairuar nga alikamen.

     Simrekda iti salas. Agpapada dagiti muebles ditoy kadagiti adda iti baba. Adda pay dagiti naimasetas a palmera kadagiti suli. Nagintek dagiti mata ti rebelda iti altar a naisiping  iti akin-amianan a diding. Naguduan ti sumsumged a kandala.

     Immuneg da Mrs. Cruz ken Malou iti siled idinto a nagbati ni Rene Rafael iti salas.

     Pinalpaliw manen ni Mrs. Cruz ti panangiwaras ni Malou iti panagkitana iti dekutson a katre, ti tokador, ti lamisaan a nagad-adalanna idi iti rabii ken ti lampshade, ti bookshelf a napno iti libro . Napintas ti urnos ti amin iti umisu a lugarda. Wen, kasla saan a pimmanaw ni Malou iti balayda. Immapay iti isip ni Mrs. Cruz daydi napudaw a narapis ken naisem nga ubing a babai nga umip-ipus kenkuana iti pannakitiendana iti merkado ti ili. Isu pay laeng ti pammagina uray no pimmugot. 

     Maudi a rabiim ditoy idi kinoronaanda ti reyna ti fiesta ti Santa Marcela.

     We, malagipko, mama. Nakipartisiparkayo ken ni Papa iti rigodon de honor. Napintas ti panagsalayo. Anian a taraki daydi Papa, a kasla sumarsarigsig a kawitan. Dakayo idi ti kaaduan iti palakpak. Napuruakankayo pay iti sagpipisos a deplata a saggaysa a pinidut dagiti sakasaka nga ubbing.

     Pimmigsa ti pakinakem ni Mrs. Cruz. Maturogka koma ditoy ita a rabii.

     Nagtugaw ni Malou iti iking ti katre. Nagkarayam dagiti ramayna iti burbor nga arpaw. Napintas a singasing dayta, mama.

     Dina patien ti nangngegna ket kayatna a siguraduen: no kasta, umianka?

     Nagidda ni Malou. Nagkidem. Naisip ni Mrs. Cruz nga im-imasen ti anakna ti kinalamuyot ti katre. Nabayagen daydi naudi a panagiddana iti katre. Ania ngata ti  iddana iti kabambantayan? Awan duadua nga uray ania dita ti pagturturoganna.

     Ladingitek, mama. Ngem ur-urayendak dagiti kakaduak. Kalawakaw ti timekna. Bimmangon. Nagtugaw iti iking ti katre. Nagsabat dagiti matada ngem awan simngaw a balikas.

     Saanen a nagawidan ni Mrs. Cruz ti riknana. Rupana’t turturtoran ti liday, inarakupna ti anakna. Masapul nga agsublika, anakko, insaibbekna.

     Saggaysa a rimmuar dagiti balikas ti rebelda: Adayo ti dinaliasatko, saan a nalaklaka ti agsubli. Awanan sarugaddeng, awanan rikna. Insagsaganana kadi dagitoy para iti daytoy a gundaway?

     Bimtak ti gurruod. Nayurit ti kimat. Simmarut ti lawag iti disarming a tawa: kasla ketdi naggilap ti maysa a kamera a nangretrato iti agnanayon iti panaginnarakupda nga agina.

     Agsublika koma, anakko, kinuna manen ni Mrs. Cruz.

     Inirutanna nga inarakup ti inana, pinikpikna a sidudungngo ti abagana ket siiinnayad a nangukas iti panaginnarakupda. Nalabit nga iti sabali a tiempo, mama.

     Rimmuarda iti kuarto.

     Adda ni Rene Rafael iti abay ti tawa. Tantannawaganna ti nasipnget ken awan matagtagitaona a kalsada. Nagsubli iti tugawna.

     Baketakon. Sinnonto ti mangkita iti daytoy a balay inton dumtengen ti panawenko? Sinnonto ti mangtarawidwid kadagiti talontayo idiay Virac, Maan-anteng ken Lusong?

    Nanindi ni Rene Rafael. Impug-awna ti asuk.

    Nakapannimid ni Malou a kumitkita iti kabambantayan iti laud.

     Da Junior ken Liwliwa. Agkamangdanto met kadagti sabali a pagilian, kas kadagiti agtutubo iti Santa Marcela nga awanen ti pakariribukanda idiay Canada ken Europa.

     Nagtimek ni rebelda:

     No dida pay nakariing kadagiti mapaspasamak, mama. No dida pay nakumbinsir kadagiti kakaduami. Nagwaraskamin, mama, kas iti panagwaras daytoy a sakit.

     Dumngegka, Malou. Natbag ti timek ni Rene Rafael a nangburak iti ulimek. Saanen a kas idi. Adun ti maipatpatungpal a reporma…

     Reporma? Isu kadi ti gapu daytoy karikutan a krisis ti historia? Mangum-umsi ti rebelda. Nagngirsi.

     Aguraytay’ bassit sakbay nga agbunga dagiti aramidtayo. Kas kunada, saan a naipasdek ti Roma iti maysa la nga aldaw. Masapul ti panaganus, adingko.
       

     Panaganus, ha! Naibusen ti anus dagiti tattao. Dimmanon ditoyen. Impakurosna ti kanigid a dakulapna iti kayumanggi a tengngedna. Tiempon a marakrak ti sistema!

     Napikar ni Rene Rafael ngem kinunana a siaalumamay: Para iti bukodmo met la a pagsayaatan—ken iti familia. Agikaykan iti organisasion. Pagimbagam met laeng.

    Manen, ti mangum-umsi nga isem. Wen, pagimbagan dagiti mangsissisip iti dara dagiti tattao, dagiti mannanakaw, mannibrong ken mananggundaway. Wen, pagimbaganda idinto a maidardaramudom ti masa.

     Siak ti makaammo kenka, kabsatko. Awan aramidem no di sumuko. Makibinnuligtanto iti naindaklan nga aramid para kadagiti tattao ken iti pagilian.

     Kaska la agsasao a buklis a politiko.

     Malou, kabsatko, awan mamaay ti amin. Awan banagen dagitoy a kinadamsak ken kinadawel.

     Kinadawel, ha! Awanen ti umasping kadakayo. Ikaliyo ida a sibibiag sayo bay-an a kutkuten ken pagfiestaan dagiti aso ti bangkay dagiti kakadua—isuda a martir ti rebolusion.

     Pimmudot ti piditpidit ti soldado. Malagipmo daydi Novenario? Ti kapitan ti barangay ti Basdapan? Linaplap dagiti martiryo ti agongna, dagiti lapayagna ken dagiti dapanna sayo impapel dagitoy iti ngiwatna. Kalpasanna, iti baet ti panagsasala ken panagbabarekda, maysa-     maysa nangduyok kenkuana---iti mismo a kayo a nangirakedanda. Dida nagsardeng agingga iti awanen ti agsayasay a darana. Sada impuruak ti bangkay iti mismo nga abut a kinalina.

     Diosko! Inyesngaw ni Mrs. Cruz.

     Nainkalitegan ti pannakapapatayna. Natangsit ti timek.

     Awan ti kalinteganyo a nangukom kenkuana, adingko.

     Agaagab ti espiayo, agramrames kadagiti babbai, mammapatay. Ginasut koma a tawen ti palabsen pay dagiti korteyo no yetnagda ti sentensiana—no adda nangidarum kenkuana. Inwitiwitna ti tammudona.

     Awan kalinteganyo a nangpapatay kenkuana.

    Inikkanmi la’t pagulidanan dagiti kas kenkuana.
  

    Timmakder ni Rene Rafael. Nagpagnapagna iti sanguananda, kas iti abogado a nakapuntos iti argumento iti pannakasalaknib ti klientena. Inridisna ti sigariliona iti arsangan iti ababa a lamisaan. It’s all an exercise in futility. Agikayka koman. Tulongannakami a mangguyugoy kadagiti dadduma a mangabaruanan.

     Agtultuloy a maigarangugong ti pagilian no di madadael daytoy a sistema. Agbiag ti rebolusion!

     Malou, anakko!

     Malou, saan nga ang-angaw ti agsakay iti tigre—iti kita ti rebolusionyo.

     Saan met nga ang-angaw daytoy a kanser. Saan nga ang-angaw ti biag ti masa! Nasken a maduprak ti sistema tapno maikkan ti tunggal maysa iti uray sangabassit la a pagnam-ayan.

     Ibinsabinsa ti historia dagiti biktima dagiti nadangkok a tignay. Ania’t napasamak idiay Vietnam? Chile? Nicaragua?

     Di agpatingga a mapuoran dagiti daton tapno magun-od ti awan mulit ken naan-anay a panggep. Pilid ti rebolusion.

     Agud-uddog agingga nga ungawenna  amin nga annakna?

     Tapno agbiag ti pasiente kasapulan ti radikal a pannakaoperasionna…

     Babaen ti dara? Babaen ti kinadawel ken gura?

     Kinapudnona, masapul nga agdigos daytoy a pagilian iti dara tapno maugasan amin a basol dagiti amma ken dagiti politico.

     Saan nga iti wagasyo.

     Awan kamalalaen ti wagasmi.

     Iti wagasyo, mapalubosan manen nga agtakaw ti mannanakaw, nga agrames manen, a pumatay manen.

     Nanindi manen ni Rene Rafael, Nangipug-aw iti asuk. Ikkannakami iti tiempo a mangibanag kadagiti planomi, kinunana.

     Awan inyeg daytoy a sistema no di bin-ig a pannakaadipen ken pannakaidadanes.

     Nasayaat pay laeng ti sistema. Tarimaanen laeng dagiti depektona.

     Masapul a masuktanen. Itan!

     Iti awan-Diosna a wagas?

     Isu laeng ti solusion.

     Adu ti solusion.

     Maymaysa ti solusion!

     Malou, anakko!

     Awan koma ti maiparukpok a dara, kabsat.

     Bulsekka ngamin kadagiti mapaspasamak.

     Ammok dagiti mapaspasamak…

     Wen, ammom dagiti panangallilaw dagiti aso dagiti imperialista!

     Malou, anakko!

     Ar-aramatendakayo laeng tapno agtalinaedda iti turay!

     Malou, kabsatko, agan-anustayo koma. Addanto panagbalbaliw.

     Wen, panagbalbaliw—baliwan ti sistema kunak manen.

     Inyangad ni Mrs. Cruz ti rupana. Sadino ti nagbiddutanmi, anakko?

     Mama, awan ti nagbiddutanyo, dakayo ken iti daydi papa. Dayta laeng ta no pumanaw ti anak iti balay, adu ti matakuatanna iti ruar. Ket agaramid iti bukodna a pangngeddeng. Maawatandak koma, mama.

     Adda lugan a nagsardeng iti kalsada iti batog ti balay. Ti dyip a nangidissaag ken ni Rene Rafael itay sardam. Atiddog ti sagawisiw a rimmimbaw iti wanerwer ti makina.

     Awan ti pakaan-annuam, kinuna ni Rafael iti nababa a timek. Umayda la makiinum ken makiranud metten iti sagana iti isasarungkarmo. Adayo ti nagpatruliaanda. Agsublikami met la iti kampo. Ulitek: awan mamaay ti amin a kinadawel. Inallilawnaka ti organisasion. Ad-adu pay ti nasayaat a panggep a pakausaran ti sariritmo.

     Immulog ni Rene Rafael.

     Sineniasan ni Mrs. Cruz ni Malou a sumrek iti kuartona idinto a sinarunona ni Rene Rafael. Kalpasan ti sumagmamano a minuto nagsubli met laeng ket simrek iti kuarto.

     Agid-idda ni Malou iti katre. Ay-ayamenna ti maysa a debola iti batog ti barukongna.

     Ladingitek, mama.

     Panunotem koma a nalaing ti imbaga ti kabsatmo.

     Bimmangon ti Malou. Nagtugaw iti iking ti katre. Insabikelna ti paltog. Nagidda manen.

     Iti panangmatmatna iti anakna, kellaat lattan a narikna ni Mrs. Cruz ti aligagaw.

     Nakasikkawil ni Mrs. Cruz iti tugaw a naipideg iti diding iti asideg ti ridaw. Inamoyna ti pumurawen a buokna idinto a dina insina ti panagkitana iti anakna. Kasla idi kalman laeng. Sinapsappuyotna idi daytoy nga ubing. Inlillilina kadagiti agkuribategen a takiagna, Nalagipna daydi inosente a balasitang a pumaypayapay kenkuana manipud iti tawa ti bus nga agpa-Manila iti terminal ti lugan ti Santa Marcela. Ita, naan-anayen a balasang nga addaan iti bukod a kapanunotan ken nalabit a di makasapulen iti tulongna. Dmmuklos manen ti aligagaw iti agkupit a barukongna.

     Bimmangon ni Malou. Nagtugaw manen iti iking ti katre.

     Kasla adda nagsullat iti karabukob ni Mrs. Cruz.  Ania ket koman a ragsakko no umianka ita a rabii. Baketakon. Inton mapan da Junior ken Liwliwa idiay America, sisiakton iti daytoy a balay.

     Kiddawenyo ken ni Manong a makipagnaed kadakayo.

     Adda familia ni Rene Rafael. Adda bukodna a plano para kadakuada. Maysa pay, kas maysa a soldado, saan nga agbayag iti maysa a disso.

     Kumuyogkayonto kada Junior ken Liwliwa idiay America.

     Diakto agnaed idiay America. Maitanemakto ditoy, iti abay ti panteon ni papangmo iti kamposanto ti Santa Marcela.

     Mama! Nairut ti panangarakupna kenkuana. Inag-agkanna dagiti pingpingna a nabasa iti agar-arimayang a lua.

     Simrek ni Rene Rafael. Inkamin, mama. Inagkanna ti muging ti inana. Inapungolna ti kabsatna. Panunotem a nalaing ti imbagak.

     Arintarayen ni Rene Rafael a rimmuar iti kuarto, Nagdalagudog iti agdan. Madamdama, nangngegda ti anabaab, ti parasapas dagiti saka a rummuar iti balay, ti pannakabiag ti makina ken ti panagtaray ti lugan nga agpa-amianan.

     Innak metten, mama, kinuna ti rebelde idi nagpukawen ti wanerwer ti lugan. Matektekanen dagiti kakaduak.

     Agsublikanto koma, kinuna ni Mrs. Cruz ket inapungolna nga inag-agkan ti anakna. Ad-addanto itan a diak makaturturog.

     Pakirdem ti pakinakemmo, mama.

     Rimmuar ni Malou iti akin-sango a ridaw.

     Linuktan ni Mrs. Cruz ti tawa a tumannawag iti kalsada. Nabayag a nagsawar dagiti matana iti mangliwengliweng a kasipngetan. Pagammuan, manipud iti rimmuong dagiti kalapaw iti ballasiw ti rangtay, naipatayab ti atiddog a taguob. Simgar ti dutdutona. Nalagipna daydi rabii a pannakatambang daydi asawana. Agtamtamdag iti daytoy a tawa idi matimudna ti taguob a kasla nauyos iti daga iti asideg iti naiputputong nga abong-abong iti labes dagiti kakawkawayanan iti pagtung-edan ti kalsada nga agpa-laud. Dimmuklos manen ti aligagaw. O, Diosko, salaknibam ti anakko. O, Mannakabalin-amin, silawam ti dalan ti anakko.

     Nagkiamkiam ti langit iti kabambantayan. Idi kuan, adda nanarpaak kadagiti pinuon ti kayo iti labes ti rangtay. Nayurit ti kimat—kasla nagsasanga a puraw a panait a naguyaoy iti tangatang—ket iti apagbiit a pannakalayus ti aglawlaw iti lawag, nadarimusmosan ni Mrs. Cruz dagiti magmagna iti rangtay. Dua kadakuada ti nagkaratay iti dadakkel nga armas. Nagtengngaanda ti nakakallugong iti silag. Ti anakko! Ti anakko! O, Diosko, saluadam ita a rabii.#  

    

     

*PETER LA. JULIAN –Periodista, mannaniw, fictionist, nag- editor ti sumagmamano a Philippine government publications, translator, nayanak ni PLJ idiay Laoag City, ngem agnanaeden idiay California. Maysa a kameng ti 8-man ecumenical group a nangipatarus ti Biblia iti Ilokano manipud kadagiti orihinal a lengguahe a Hebreo ken Griego. Rummuar ita a tawen ti expanded version  dagiti dandaniwna iti Ilokano ken Ingles, “Umayka Manen, Ganggannaet/Come Again, Stranger.”

    

    

   

      

LAI, THEY RESENT THE PACKAGE TO LUZON. SORRY.

Grace Alba, ABS-CBN Ilocos TV Patrol anchor, and her Tita Linda Julian-Gantong

THE "KINGS" OF THE "BIBLIA" OF THE NORTH: THEIR REALM

     What is Biblia? The sacred repository of the Word? 
     What is the Biblia of the North? It is a magazine that contains comics, novels, fiction, poetry, columns, pictures as big as the heads of the "chosen ones", the "Kings" of Iluko Literature, who let their own kinds of readers decide for themselves what kind of writing should be published in the "Biblia." O, let those "intellectual essays, poems, fiction" be thrown to the dust bin even as we sit on them, especially those of that stupid idiot from Caba, La Union. 

    What or where is the realm of these "Kings"?
    A cubicle located somewhere in a Bulletin building Manila. Their men? At least ten, most of whom has been feeding on the royal table for decades, who take turns manning the ramparts, looking for stray writings of their enemies. 

    See? Their realm is small,  as small as their small minds. Writers? 

  What did Epictetus say about a person in any profession or craft? No matter how brilliant you are in your craft, you are nothing if you are dishonest, without integrity, or something to that effect.
    

The Last Day of Wintry Weather, Evita, the Mangyan Maiden and Her Lovers

if i should love again
wails barry manilow on u tube
it's 6:30 in the still-cold 6th morning

the rain-shattering storm from hawaii
is leaving, the tail-end wind lashing and howling
a delirious presence among leafless oakwoods
outside the house in winchester

in the yard with green grass
lined with potted desert plants, tall coconut-like palm
trees tremble like scared humans, their fronds

swishing
and swishing
and swishing like long tresses
of a voluptous woman weeping for her lovers lost
 in the night of dreams.

NOTES TO JOSEFINO ZABALA, EX-FUTURE NATIONALIST WRITER

Tree-lined pathway near the legendary Paoay Lake in Ilocos Norte

     Aristocratic fingers
Neither walk the yellow pages
     of history
Nor do they feel the pulse
   of the now-barren country
Whose impatient off-springs
     have gone away, lost
In the wombs of other lands.
Only those who know songs
     of rice birds come back
Retracing spoors of wild pigs
That, too, have disappeared
With the great forests.
They have sought refugee (and livelihood)
     in the arms of strange towns,
     their souls an arid desert. The temple
     in the sun shall haunt them surely
     and the longing knows no end:
     who will miss the cool hills
     of Sagada and Samoki?
             
                  2.    
      
Speak not of virgin springs                            
For remembering is painful
Adventure to where once stood
     green mansions of rock.
The tomb is only an aberration of fools
     and we are scions
     of a deathless tree.
     Let us not go back
And die slowly, a red gumamela
Pinned against our cheek.

                 3.
More brown gods now stalk
The brown earth but who will heed
The multitudes whose combined voices
       are as weak as the flow
Of Padsan and the dying rivers?
And who are the heroes?
Rizal, Mabini, Bonifacio,
And even the Lunas, the Silangs--they, too, 
     had their own tales that are as authentic
As the white sands of Saud in Pagudpud.
     They who mouth slogans
     and make comparisons
     desecrate their memories
     and tinge with black
     their shining dignity.
     My friend, the race
     must go on, untouched
By the tongues of fire-throwers
     and the politicians. by PLJ, originally published in 
     the defunct Focus magazine
   
JB was a prolific writer, whose stories and articles
appeared in pre-martial law magazines. He was the PR man
of the late Isabela congressman and mayor Antonio Abaya of the town of Santiago.
Friends say JB has gone blind and lives in Santiago City.
I have been looking for him for the past five years.

TODAY ARRIVES THE NEWS ABOUT THE FALL OF DOLOROSO DANS

Dagiti Aglablaba iti Karayan Padsan idiay Laoag

it's a wet morning, but a promise
of sun lingers on the glass panes,
the room is too small for these
public men dissecting omissions of
the boss now gone to nowhere to
celebrate alone his fall. (was it the
absent magazine message that triggered
his disaster?) we are like
conspirators revising the plot in
some alleyways dark with hate and
violence: a, brutuses recreating
caesar's gory death. no matter: the
joy is ours now and we shall jot in
our diaries this day of victory.

basil valdez on tape wails out a
song of love sans ends. (requiem to
a dead rat?) the waxed floor is littered
with crumpled tissue papers and
cigarette butts. the rubbish can wait
sings the janitor baring a set of tattered
teeth as he joins in the banter and
the laughter (ha-ha-ha-ha. the fetters
broken?)

indeed, this people's domain needs
cleansing cream, new manners, new minds
that, in pursuit of the sun, shall burn
the night with liquid fire of gods and
high ambitions: no more ruins to tread
this midnoon of our separate lives: the
swan song has been sung and the recorder
is broken forever.
(did he not know, did not the cabal
that fed him with parables of lies

Art Representation of the Ilokano "Dadapilan"

hear the funeral songs of gentle souls?)

the typewriters are silent, the whir
of electric fans lost in the cacophony
of sounds. like cattle loosed from a
coral, we excite the air and our voices
reveal kinship with roman assassins.
no matter: this joy is ours now. permit us
these stupidities for just this day for soon our
ship shall move again and blaring trumpets
shall in distant shores announce
our arrival.--prize-winning poem by peter  

FROM DOWN UNDER, THIS LADY

The Iluko literary icon, Apo Ariel Agca the lecturer par excellence

Imee Marcos with TMIF officers and adviser including an Iluko literary winner

(For Manang Fele J. Mann
for a gift of encounter on Dec. 28, 2009)

She comes from the sun
this lady from down under
a proverb unto her own:
what is she who comes
with a smile even when
the angels are mad, raging
and restless in their flight?

She has gone away
only to return where
she comes from
the warm soil, moist and dry,
that knew her hands
each clasp in prayer
cusped for the asking
for some salving to come
to assuage the bruised body
the bruised soul, mind
and this story of return
offering a loving lullaby.

She keeps her appointment
with time and all those moments
that tell you of sins revisiting
the sinner only to talk about
that which gives some sweet

From left: Peter La. Julian, Lady Fele, a winner in a writing contest, and Fele's California-based sister Francisca

Lady Fele celebrating her birthday during the 2011 TMI-Global International Literary Conference in San Nicolas, Ilocos Norte. Dr. Visitacion Mamuad giving her flowers.

sweet balm.

We let go off the accounting
of lies, she tells, her voice firm,
that of an angel seeking light.
The deception is complete
and can not be undone,

We move on, she says, 
to painting pictures with the colors
of that which will remind us
of the mercies we accord
to the lesser kind
some pretenders to some greatness
we can not figure out how.

With her by myside,
I think of red here, like
the rebel word of a clown
or the clandestine cadre
of a poem about a metaphor
for a final freedom.

She says she is delighted,
so delighted we have met
for the first time after 
miles and miles of letters
bridging what distance
separated us from her Darwin sun.

I tell her the same thing:
I send you my stars and my moons,
their alighnment the meaning
of what I have become
in the Honolulu of my lifetime.
Stronger as you can see
even if at times, some of the time,
the scars open up to countries
I have gone to journey
one meaning of what is beyond.

Aurelio Solver Agcaoili
Pasig, Dec 28, 2009

 

ANASTACIA, KASAOM TI BULAN/ANASTACIA, SPEAK TO THE MOON

Bessag ti basikaw a bulan
Aggargaraw dagiti anniniwan
Iti naulila a kapanagan.

Makaipas dagiti lagip:
Dagiti nalamiis a turod
Idiay Samoki ken Sagada
Ti karayan iti uneg ti daga
Idiay Palawan, dagiti orkidia
Idiay Davao, dagiti agila
Idiay Sierra, ti batonlagip
Idiay Batac: daytoy ti bannawag.

Anastacia, agsaoka
Kasaom ti bulan
Kasaom ti lunod ti bulan
Kasaom ti samiweng
Kasaom ti saem ti samiweng.

Anastacia, agsaoka koma
Diak maitured nga imatangan
Dagiti agarimayang a lua.

Wen, dagiti sagibo, dagiti sagibo!
Pimmanawda iti sidongta.
Nagpakadada met, Anastacia.

Ay, nakalawlawa ti salas
A nagay-ayamanda idi, ay!
Naliday dagiti lukat a tawa
Agsasaibbek ti agdan
Agsangsangit ti dap-ayan
Mangngegko dagiti timek
 ken katkatawada.
  kadagiti kuarto
A nagtaraytarayanda.

(Agsayukmo met
nga agsubli dagiti balikasko.)

Garami or hay usually fed to work animals of Ilokano farmers

The vanishing karison or wheelcart in Paoay, Ilocos Norte

Sapulenta kadi ida
Ket inta met kadagiti adayo a daga?
Ngem sadino ti pagbirokanta?
Dita ammo dagiti lugar
  a nakaiwaraswarsanda.

Kasano a pagsublien ida
Ket nakaro ti bisin ken rutayrutay
Ti Santa Maria ken Darayday?

Bessag ti basikaw a bulan
Agsaoka, Anastacia, agsaoka.
Kasaom ti bulan.

THE FACEBOOK LOVER, SHE

when in the old hometown years later
he found her across the pages of quotations,
sayings, biblical passages, what-i-did-today
diaries, trivialities, videos.

quote without mercy, the needle went into
my flesh, into my vein, pounding,
pounding my brain like hell unquote.


what to make of her in the 1993 photograph,
she with her long tresses and yellow-green dress?

she was a promise of beauty, a love song
sung by a frail woman, a zsa zsa padilla look-alike
remembering her childhood

Marga with Igorot basket of marapait

pain in a hospital that reeked of bedbugs,
antiseptic, crushed garlic and death. 

Model: Margarita Julian/Photo from Panagbenga
Flower Festival in Baguio